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 :Anzu Mitogo Jr

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Joey Yamamoto

Joey Yamamoto


Posts : 73
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2014-04-22
Age : 28
Location : Jersey City, New Jerssy / Houston, Texas

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PostSubject: :Anzu Mitogo Jr    :Anzu Mitogo Jr  Icon_minitimeSun Sep 07, 2014 6:34 pm

:Anzu Mitogo Jr  Little10
Name:Anzu Mitogo Jr 
Age:12 how old is the character?
Gender:Girl boy or girl
Weapon Form::Anzu Mitogo Jr  Gilgam13What do th
Miester:Joey Yamamoto Who wields him/her, if lone put N/A
Appearance:is a short girl who have a black and red shirt on with jeans. Her hair is purple. She have nothing crazy going on in her skin as she clean herself everyday. she have black hair that is long like a wolf tail 
Personality:she is a kind girl that love everyone even her family. She love everyone. She is a girl who like and love to have fun and go on quests to learn new thing about life and all. Just becouse she is small she does not know how to defend her self. So her new big brother Joey will take care of that for her. She hate being by herself as she is scare to be by herself


Likes:video games (Mostly Persona and devil may cry) dancing, being with her brother Joey and cooking

Dislikes:She dislike anyone who made Joey sad. Her video games are broken and being pick on 


History:well how can I said this. Ever since she was born her life was full of happyness. she have good friends, good grades and a family who kinda love her. But deep down she know that she was something else. Her family was with a pair of a human and the weapon was a smg. 


The family thought the daughter will gain a weapon form in guns but that did not happen. Lily change Into a new weapon which is a pair of gauntlets, greaves, mask, and back armor. They was in shock as they took her away from there sight and forgot about her. "You are no daughter of mine, leave this family now!" The mother yell at her as she kick her out. "And never come back!" 


The. Young  girl was crying as she was kick out of her family as she cry and run away. From that she being to live on the alays and looking for someone to take her in 

Other:Like my other oc weapon, whoever use her as a weapon they will get tired quicky 
Have you read the rules?
"Let's go Soul Resonance!"):

 


Last edited by Joey Yamamoto on Sun Sep 07, 2014 8:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Jt

Jt


Posts : 1378
Reputation : 5
Join date : 2014-04-19
Age : 27

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PostSubject: Re: :Anzu Mitogo Jr    :Anzu Mitogo Jr  Icon_minitimeSun Sep 07, 2014 6:53 pm

1. Please delete the extra text that is not important to the Character app, which is the filler text mainly.
2. The picture and the written appearance look nothing alike. Now, I can understand changing clothes and what not from the pic, but it's not close to being accurate.
-Picture does not have have black
-Hair is long, and could probably be tied to look like a wolf tail anyway.
-You don't need to describe her bust size. If she is 12 years old, yeah, they aren't going to be that big.
3. Even if she is twelve, she does seem a bit too perfect. Maybe add a bit more to her personality?
4. Okay, she didn't have the same weapon form as her dad. But why did the parents reject her because of this. It makes no sense and it feels like a forced motive of the parents to give Anzu a tragic history.
5. What does the weapon do? You have the pic, but that's it. Describe how it works to me.

That's all I have to say.
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Joey Yamamoto

Joey Yamamoto


Posts : 73
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2014-04-22
Age : 28
Location : Jersey City, New Jerssy / Houston, Texas

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PostSubject: Re: :Anzu Mitogo Jr    :Anzu Mitogo Jr  Icon_minitimeSun Sep 07, 2014 8:19 pm

Edit
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Jt

Jt


Posts : 1378
Reputation : 5
Join date : 2014-04-19
Age : 27

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PostSubject: Re: :Anzu Mitogo Jr    :Anzu Mitogo Jr  Icon_minitimeSun Sep 07, 2014 8:31 pm

1. Appearance is conflicting with itself.
2. Personality is the same.
3. Still don't know why the parents rejected her, which goes back to the fact that this feels forced just to give Anzu a bad and tragic history. It's a bit like my character, Sora, though, so I'll help with this. Maybe her dad came from a long line of ranged demon weapons. But, make it different. Instead of having parents that just pretends she doesn't exist, maybe she just really disappointed her dad. Maybe not the mom, but definitely the dad. So, after a while of living with the guilt, she ran away from home and to Death City. She decided to sign up for the DWMA and to become a death scythe to make her dad proud. And in some time there, she met Joey.
4. Didn't do anything with the weapon abilities.
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Joey Yamamoto

Joey Yamamoto


Posts : 73
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2014-04-22
Age : 28
Location : Jersey City, New Jerssy / Houston, Texas

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PostSubject: Re: :Anzu Mitogo Jr    :Anzu Mitogo Jr  Icon_minitimeMon Sep 08, 2014 4:37 pm

Wip then
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PostSubject: Re: :Anzu Mitogo Jr    :Anzu Mitogo Jr  Icon_minitime

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