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 Kaos Ryuko(Complete)

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vulcanork

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PostSubject: Kaos Ryuko(Complete)   Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:43 am


Name: Kaos Ryuko
Age: 14
Gender: Boy
Weapon Form:A Chakram connected to a Spiked Ball and Chain
Miester: N/A
Appearance: He is pale,with dark hair.He is lean and wears blue-gray polo shirt and pants with a white inner-shirt.He usually wears these clothes when he fights and goes to school.When he plays sports he removes his polo shirt and wears black jersey shorts.When he is at home he wears a gi because he trains before sleeping.
Personality: He is friendly,sometimes likes to tease.He is calm and tries to think about everything but usually overthinks leading to self-doubt.He loves to fight but doesn't rush into it.He is lazy sometimes and has a laid-back attitude.He is afraid of dying and complete isolation.He is motivated by his past, saying "I don't want to feel that pain ever again. I WILL BE STRONGER!".His morals are to protect the only friends he has left because they became his only family.He also believes that you have to work hard and smart to be strong, so he trains every night and reads every morning.
Likes: Girls, food and fighting.
Dislikes:Pain,his blood and death
History: Kaos was born into a dangerous family of mercenaries.He learned how to fight at a very young age to follow in their footsteps.He loved to fight but not to hurt others.He fought with honor but when his parents learned about that they punished him,cut him and whipped him until he was bleeding and scarred, he never wanted to feel pain or his blood again.One day about a year after he was punished he wanted to ask his parents about their kills but he walked in on them eating the soul of his brother, the only one who ever cared for him.He was seething with rage and fear. He knew then and there that they became the monsters known as kishin eggs.He tried to fight back but it was pointless.He stared death in the face and remembered his caring mother, kind and nurturing, try to rip him open and eat his soul.He closed his eyes and accepted his fate, until a meister and weapon saved his life.He was in awe as he watched the duo,after they saved his life he asked them how to become that strong. They told him to go to the DWMA. And that is where he is today.
Other:N/A
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Last edited by vulcanork on Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:38 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Vix The Vulpix

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PostSubject: Re: Kaos Ryuko(Complete)   Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:14 am

Alrighty, not sure if this is a W.I.P or if it's complete, in the future please put weither or not it's done in the title please. 

Now, is this a complete bio?

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vulcanork

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PostSubject: Re: Kaos Ryuko(Complete)   Wed Jan 27, 2016 8:07 am

yes this is complete

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Vix The Vulpix

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PostSubject: Re: Kaos Ryuko(Complete)   Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:59 am

Ok, it's evaluation time~*~*~ 

1) You need to expand on the appearance and personality, in appearance try to use more detail, like what he wears as casual clothes, and in personality try to go in depth with it, what are his fears, mmotivations and morals?

2)The history seems like it can use a few adjustments and more clarification. You say that his family were criminals, well what did they do specifically+ He was taught to fight, why? And how did he find out they were kishin eggs? Did he walk in on them killing someone? Please use more detail 

Just add these things and everything will be just super.

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vulcanork

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PostSubject: Re: Kaos Ryuko(Complete)   Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:39 pm

I edited it i hope its fine now

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Vix The Vulpix

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PostSubject: Re: Kaos Ryuko(Complete)   Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:37 pm

Alrighty, this is pretty good for a first application


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